No F-I

by Cathy Gilson, 5/14/2010

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Image by Getty Images via Daylife

When my child was in wilderness the staff had a phrase they would repeat, mantra like, with the kids. And that was, “No F-I”.

I heard this expression often before I thought to ask what it meant. It means “no future information.” That is, they didn’t want the child in wilderness to be focusing on life after the hiking, sleeping bags, mosquitoes, beans and rice and non-stop therapy were over. The idea was to encourage the kids to concentrate on the lessons of the here and now.

Therapeutically, that seems right. Staying in the moment makes eminent sense for a teen with emotional problems. But, man, it is a trial for a family trying to figure out the deployment of financial resources for care. Even when our son was in residential treatment, the therapists had no idea when he would “get with the program” and we could begin to plan for aftercare.

Our child was in treatment for almost 30 months. Most kids, no doubt, are easier to set straight. But it is certainly worth asking your family’s educational consultant to discuss with you the determinants of treatment duration.

Some of the considerations are the age of the child going into treatment; how much of the child’s problems are linked to his home (either family or community environment) and how much are internal; whether there is a logical aftercare that most kids with his or her profile “graduate” to; and what aftercare options could make sense for your particular child in his or her home community.

I believe that this is a point that parents need to press -- maybe not initially when the child is in crisis and going away to wilderness or another first placement. Treatment is expensive and life saving, but families must also consider the financial health of their family.